Tuesday, May 1, 2012


Lilith has quite the reputation of being none other than a spiteful, demanding, hyper sexual, vindictive demoness that drives men insane, and kills babies and that's just the start- or the short version, for those of you who are already familiar with her story. If you do not then click here (for one of the many interpretations).

(I did a new podcast on a new view of the old demon Lilith in synastry you can click here to listen.) Although the post below follows tradition but what I have seen differs and varies so to hear my version listen to the podcast either before or after reading the below.

When reading about Lilith it's nearly impossible to find the positive, yet modern day astrologers focus on her independent nature in a attempt to turn her story more positive, which is a good thing. We don't need anymore negative or bad planets or the like, messing our lives up anymore.  So wit that said, applying her to modern day in Astrology we must take all things into consideration objectively. To be objective we need to consider the sources in which her stories come, and of course one's beliefs I guess. 

Although her story varies there is a "common theme", most agree collaborate with, and it's not very good at all. So, twisting to the positive we must keep in mind that these texts are "very old"  and in that time, people were tough critics and times change, whereas today we would say, having multiple sex partners and women wanting to dominate is pretty common and even mainstream and although considered edgy,  it's all too common and NOT considered wrong or evil, like it was with her. 

There is the possibility that things may have been exaggerated it WAS a much more rigid time. People are much more accepting and open minded today. To think "Witches", or Astrologers, and anyone that "Did things differently" or " Did not adhere to mainstream beliefs" suffered major consequences and were pinned as being wicked or  evil and even killed.

Times were tough, and people pretty brutal in their opinions, and judgments were hard. Back then if you had an affair, you could be set fire, be stoned or cast out, never to step foot back again, banned to wear the " Scarlet Letter". Yes, we want to live happy and fruitful lives, and to do what is healthy for us. But given that we are learning to be loving and to respect all people regardless of their chosen lifestyle, perhaps Lilith wasn't so evil, perhaps the "demons" she ran off to have sex with were really just people of another tribe, that looked different than everyone else, mistaken for demons? staying with the positive.

No one knows for certain, but we do know the truth does get stretched from time to time or twisted. If you were a woman that did not want to submit, back in that time, you would have been banished too. So she is now the model for women's equal rights. 

Lilith, represents the part of us that want's to be free to live our wild sexual lives as we wish, to break free of any inhibitions and to be authentic to ourselves, and to do what we please, even in the extreme. 

Perhaps, the only problem with Lilith was that she was born, created in the wrong era, and because of this she was the rebel, and simply made out to be much worse than she actually was.

One thing we can decipher for certain is that Lilith was not the goody girl next door. As far as where the myth originated according to Ariela Pelaia  in her article; Where does the legend of Lilith come from she states 
Many believe she was inspired by Sumerian myths about female vampires called “Lillu” or Mesopotamian myths about succubae (female night demons) called “lilin.” 

Also, that Lilith was mentioned four times in the Babylonian Talmud, but it was not until the Alphabet of Ben Sira (c. 800s to 900s) that the character of Lilith is associated with the first version of Creation.

In this medieval text, Ben Sira names Lilith as Adam’s first wife and presents a full account of her story." 

If you haven't read up on her here's an interesting read portraying her as the serpent in the bible The case for Lilith. as you will see, there are quite a few different myths.

No one is really all that certain as to which Myth is the most accurate so we can only work with it seems most probably in the least that we can bet to see our rebellious or wild side, in the area of our chart Lilith resides. To what degree is to be determined by the sign, house and aspects to her from personal planets.

I have had much personal and professional experience with Lilith, as I mentioned. 

To put her in perspective Lilith is similar to a combination of Pluto and Uranus energy. A combination of the darker qualities of Pluto, Demanding, Unruly, Strong Sexual needs and desires, unique different or bizarre interest in sex, nymphomaniac, strong independent streak, a heart breaker.
However, there are two sides to every aspect, placement, planet, asteroid of what not. Much of this truly depends on how well, the individual responds to the energy.

The negative side, can be very negative. Yet the positive expression is very positive.  I have seen in synastry between two people, with Lilith aspects both the postive and the negative play out. This is why it's so difficult to write about aspects becasue it truly is dependant on the individual charts of each person. 

Lilith in synastry generally speaking produces a very powerful seductive lure between the two but there can also an erratic or rebellious quality to it. Most commonly seen when the two are not evolved in their Lilith, they experience a battle of wills or power struggles.

Although, this adds to the passion it is also pulling at the very seat of your souls and can eventually bring out deep resentments. Though ultimately, the highly sexually charged dynamics in the relationship will open your eyes to the ramifications of issues of control, selfishness, or lack of self control, or a need to have your way and their toxicity to any relationship.  

It is also possible in it's more aggressive energy or form to draw out your own sexual or emotional demons. Much like Pluto, Lilith has the sexual power to draw out our compulsions which if not kept in check can drive us batty, crazy, or as the tale goes insane, in the least a visit to the therapist. Lilith was known to drive men insane. 

Strong Lilith relationships( Hard Aspects with Lilith) often turn obsessive in a rather rapid, yet desirous way. Things can move fast, all things and you feel as if you just can't turn away. Very much like the lure to eat of the "luscious forbidden fruit" curiosity kills. Lilith is often a temptation, that if taken on will ultimately open our eyes to our darker nature. 

In many of my clients relationships, I have seen it play out obsessively, intensely and always highly sexually charged relationships. In most of the cases, they never made it for the long haul a couple of years tops.  

Perhaps because Lilith can never really be had, or satisfied. It's important to note that most of these couples were immature, still young and maturity makes all the difference in how one handles their need for rebellion, pushing limits, game playing and recklessness,  As with all difficult aspects they tend to get better or more controlled over time, they are managed much better with age. So we always need to take that into consideration as well.

These scandalous qualities or desire for many sex partners can be seen in Men as well with strong Lilith. I have observed her in many of the charts of men. For men Lilith can play out that they are attracted to Lilith types, women with large sexual appetites or darker more taboo sex, perhaps filth is a turn on. 

In the Lilith myth, she was also known for infiltrating men's dreams and ultimately driving them insane. In other words, she draws out our jealousies, and compulsive natures, opening our eyes much like Pluto does through taking away, and drawing out our deepest feelings. Lilith does it through her independent, unruly( Uranus) and Pluto's Lair, strong sexual compulsions of a taboo nature or sex served raw and dirty.

When it comes to synastry Lilith in aspect to a partners personal planet such as the Sun. The Lilith person will pull out these sexual compulsions from the Sun person and the Sun person is likely to become obsessed with capturing the Lilith person. 

One or the may unintentionally or intentionally bring out of their partner a unsettling feeling this is usually a result of attaching too much importance on sex, lust and a need to control or rebel against each other.

The men that have Lilith strongly in their chart, primarily in the hard aspects and often located in the 1st house are heavily Lilith and may be attracted to prostitutes or women that are dirty we see much of the sexual scandal going on with men and their homier wives and their dirty girl on the side.

Since Lilith was responsible for bringing disease, it may be as a result of these unusualy sexual appetites, and interest in prostitutes or sex addict behavior. I am not associating sex with a disease but the truth is if you are not careful, it's a real consequence. She is associated with dirty, sex in dirty places, with multiple partners and even mysophilia which makes sense why she is also the bringer of disease in the negative. 

For the record there ARE many other not so nice", asteroids and planets outside of Pluto and Lilith that have darker twists one example is asteroid Nessus, which is related to "abuse" which we all have in our charts as well. We all have the dark asteroids or dark sides of the planets in our charts but most of us choose consciously not to act it out. At least those that are conscious of the energy and choose otherwise. Therefore, it's not fair to say everyone with these aspects will behave like this, or act out these negatives traits, because it's simply not true. We all have free will and part of our evolution is to rise above our carnal desires and learn to respect ourselves and others. But the truth is some don't.

To find out which side of Lilith you are dealing with, you may want to take age into consideration, but really if you see any of the negative behaviors acting out, and if you are not happy about it, then you have a choice.  Lilith is not for the faint of heart, she is much like the lifting of a veil opening our eyes to our to our darker, more ravenous, lustful, controlling, dominating and rebellious natures.

Positively used, she can help us fight for a good cause, to stand up for our rights, and to free us from fears of any sexual inhibitions, and even empower us.

For more on the impact of Lilith in synastry and my interpretations of Lilith aspects in synastry, you can read more in the members area if you are a member. If you are not a member you can see how to become one by clicking the following link: Become a member

Also listen to the New View of a Old Demon Lilith in Synastry audio, which put's Lilith in perspective. 


  1. What about man's lilith conj woman's nn and woman's lilith conj man's mars?

  2. Depending on how close the conjunction with the Ascendant but sounds like the relationship would be a lesson on Lilith, which isn't exactly about relationships. So the both of you will need to be very aware of how you may unconsciously respond , react to or affect the other. Especially if you want to establish a long lasting relationship . Other supportive factors can help and things like maturity and awareness as well;)

  3. Hello! My partner's lilith squares my sun, also his lilith conjuncts my mars,Quincunx my pluto, and my lilith squares his mercury in synastry. In composite we've got sun square lilith. How would you interpret it? Thanks :)

    1. Hmmm.. Your partner may be a bit rebellious although there is likely a very strong intense attraction that would need to be managed carefully. He can help you unleash the lion in you and bring out your wild side:)

  4. Hi, here are the synastry Lilith aspects with my partner:
    Lilith Conjunction Moon Orb 0°55'
    Lilith Square AS Orb 0°02'
    Lilith Square Jupiter Orb 1°04'
    Lilith Square Sun Orb 4°35'
    Lilith Trine Mercury Orb 2°27'
    Lilith Sextile Venus Orb 3°22'

    good or bad?

    1. Hi, Well Lilith is hardly good;0 She's the unattainable, the licentious, raw animal passion in us but she's ever so challenging and disruptive with hard aspects conjunctions/squares although there is usually a very strong sexual attraction. However, over time willfulness and stubborness often interfere so compromise and care are needed to maintain a long term relationship with those aspects.

  5. Thanks for the reply...
    Yes, its a crazy strong sexual attraction, 2 years into it and it hasn't slowed down... and plenty of willfulness and stubbornness recently... and we have a sun square mars double whammy...

    1. Oh my, only adding to the fire. Compromise at this stage:)

  6. My lilith is opposite my potential partners lilith and his moon. Which also means his moon is conjunct his lilith. What does this mean for him individually and for us potentially? Thanks!

    1. Lilith conjunct moon in a mans chart indicates his sexual likes and Lilith is a free spirit. It can also point to willfulness and someone that doesn't take well to being told what to do or likes it quite a bit ­čśë. Oppositions between liliths show you both express your Lilith differently and can cause conflict or attraction. Other factors can alter this in many different ways.

  7. My Lilith is Inconjunct/Quincunx His Sun, Trine His Moon, Sextile His Jupiter, Opposite His Eros, and Trine His Ascendant.

    His Lilith is Sesqui-quadrate My Moon, Trine My Mercury, Semi-Sextile My Uranus, Inconjunct/Quincunx My Chiron, Sextile My Pallas, and Conjunct My MC.

    Does the Moon Trine/Sesqui-quadrate BML count as a DW? And I have no idea what ANY of this means. Thank you so much, if you are/can, provide any kind of knowledge on these aspects!

  8. What about lilith trine lilith? Is This a type of understanding between the two people? Like they easily recognise each other's lilith vibes and feels comfy being themselves in all their lilith glory?

    1. Haha ;) it should be something like that. Trines are smooth get along energy so it should be positive. Again other aspects need to be considered but your Liliths should not be the problem should you have any. Unless your liliths are aspected harshly individually or together by other trouble makers.

  9. Hello, what would mean partners pluto square lilith in synastry?

    1. Hi Lilith and Pluto have some in common but it's just that that can make them rivals and especially in a hard aspect. However it depends on how each person handles their personal power and whether or not they are prone to abuse it or fixed on being the dominant one or not. Other aspects can alter the interpretation but in itself it would reflect possible power struggles as a result of each person wanting control possesing too much pride, willfulness or unruly behaviors. But would point to much sexual attraction and perhaps taboo or racy sexual affairs if you are intimate. Maturity and awareness with both partners along with no gameplaying is helpful. Positively you can both challenge each other in a good way but that would depend again on you as individuals and your willingness to compromise. We all have Lilith and Pluto it's whether we express their negative or positive sides;)

    2. hello, and trigon lilith pluto? Does fluidity to sexual energy?

  10. Hello, how would you interpret Lilith sesquiquadrate (sesquiquadrate) Mars double whammy in synastry? Is that really bad since it's a hard aspect?

  11. Thank you for your response! I read your Lilith article. I have Lilith conjunct my ascendant myself and I am nothing like those two female friends you described. I am the opposite. Although I do get really strong reactions from men even if I am just wearing casual clothes. A lot of times I feel objectified. I am a scorpio rising if that helps at all.

    1. Hi! Yes it's different for everyone and why writing about aspect by aspect is so difficult because there are many other aspects and placements that can change the entire description. There is always a strong sexual energy surrounding the person and especially with Scorpio ascendant but how a person chooses to use the energy or reacts to it depends on much more of the chart. Scorpio Ascendants are usually very observant and particular and many aren't fond or comfortable with the reactions they get sexual or otherwise. Those were examples however there is so much in a chart and why aspect by aspect are rarely ever truly accurate. I have known others with Lilith aspects that are very conservative. Lilith has many dynamics and often has a bad rap based on her mythology but times change and show that she simply wanted to be free to express herself however that may be and wanted equality.

    2. I have lilith in Capricorn, in my 8th house. I'm friends with this freakishly sexy Capricorn guy, with Sun, moon and mercury in Capricorn. Which they do aspect my south node, oh god what's wrong with me? Lol

      I always attract Capricorn guys

  12. You are definitely set up to attract and drive Capricorns wild. Oooooosh:)

  13. Hi, my lilith square his sun and my lilith sextile his venus. What does this mean for us? We both are capricorns. Both of ours Mars are capricorn too. Eventhough my 7th house in capricorn, I always found capricorn guys boring expect this guy.

  14. Thank you for your comments Zahara, they are very helpful. I would like to ask for your help in our synastry chart, please. Can you interpret?

    A lot of Lilith and Chiron. Lilith (him) opposition my Sun, Moon and Saturn. My Lilith trine his Pluto and sextile his Chiron.

    His Chiron: square my Sun and Moon, opposition Jupiter, square Saturn, trine Neptune, opposition Pluto, sextile Lilith and sextile MC. My Chiron trines his Sun, squares his Neptune.

    Hard and soft aspects throughout chart. A lot of stuff going on here, it appears. Also: Moon and Sun trine Mars. Moon (him) sextile Venus (me) His Venus trine My Mercury. Pluto conj Pluto. NN (his) trine Venus. His Sun opposes my Sun. I oppose his Moon. We oppose each other's Mars. My Ascendant sextiles his Sun, and his mine, and my Asc trines his Jupiter. His Asc. squares my Mars. My MC trines his Pluto. His MC conjuncts my Sun and Venus.

    Thank you so very much!

    He has Sun, Moon, Mercury and Saturn in Scorpio. My Sun is in Taurus. Moon in Libra. Mars in Cancer. Mercury in Taurus. His Venus is in Sag. and mine is in Cancer.

    1. I'm sorry I do not have time to interpret so many asspects. You would need to order a reading if you would like me too.

    2. Thank you. Yes. A lot going on. I understand. Thank you for your reply.

    3. Thank you for understanding :) and for visiting:)

  15. I am a big fan of your work. A lot of valuable information.

  16. My Jupiter is conjunct his Lilith in Sagitarius? He also has Sun in Sagitarius?

  17. Hi, are you able to comment on woman's sun conjunct man's lilith? I feel it is one way obsession from the woman (sun) to the lilith (man).

  18. Hello, I'd like to know about this Lilith synastry my partner has with me, she basically has a Lilith in Pisces in my House 10 and my Lilith in Aquarius in her House 1. I tried researching details about these kind of matters and the results I found were almost natal-related. Plus may I add that my Lilith in Aquarius conjuncts her Aquarius Sun, Neptune in Aquarius, sextiles her Mars in Aries, and squares her Taurus Rising.

    Her Lilith in Pisces, however, trines my Cancer Moon, conjuncts my Pisces Mercury, and squares my Mars and Pluto in Sag.

    I have a hard time interpreting the (Lilith Synastry) for weeks so I needed a bit of help from you and by the way, I really understand your works about the informations on the synastrys of the planets and this helped me understand my relationship with my partner. Thank you so much.

  19. hello, i have my lilith opp his Sun, and his Sun opp my lilith, what would that mean? we´re both pretty emotionally mature people.

  20. What about his sun square my lilith, his lilith sextile my moon, his lilith conj. my venus, and lilith trine my neptune???

  21. What about his sun square my lilith, his lilith sextile my moon, his lilith conj. my venus, and lilith trine my neptune???

  22. I just noticed an aspect that I can’t seem to understand. My Lilith is in an exact conjunction with partner’s Uranus & my Uranus trines his Lilith within 3*. It seems really significant and I would love to know what if means. Thank you!

  23. What does this mean - first partner’s lillith is exact with second partner’s Uranus AND first partner’s Uranus trines second partner’s Lilith within 3.8*. That seems pretty significant. Can you help me understand this aspect a little better? Thank you!

  24. How would you interpret this chart?

    HIS ......... MINE
    Sun Trine Lilith 2.33 46
    Mercury Trine Pluto 0.45 65
    Mars Trine Pluto 0.29 59
    Jupiter Trine Sun 1.51 95
    Jupiter Conjunction Lilith 4.13 54
    Saturn Trine Sun 1.13 96
    Saturn Conjunction Lilith 3.35 57
    Uranus Square Jupiter 2.30 -67
    Neptune Opposition Mercury 2.31 -55
    Neptune Conjunction Neptune 2.11 70
    Neptune Trine Asc node 0.34 41
    Pluto Trine Mercury 2.00 49
    Pluto Sextile Asc node 1.05 32
    Lilith Trine Venus 0.42 56
    Lilith Sextile Jupiter 0.54

  25. Hi there! What does it mean if you have Mercury conjunct Lilith with your partner in synastry (I'm Mercury, he's Lilith)? I can't find any info online about this particular aspect, and it's almost exact (orb of .21), possibly the tightest aspect between us.

  26. Hi Zahara. Thank you for the insight. Would you say the sextile and trine from lilith to moon and sun (within 1° orb) have relevance ? For example, moon is ruler of my chart and sextile his lilith and sun is ruler of his chart trine to my lilith ?

  27. My Lilith conj his MC. How does this affect him? Me?

  28. Can anyone comment on how Lilith Square Venus; Lilith Trine Neptune and Jupiter Conjunct Lilith aspects in a synastry will play out? Thanks in advance!

  29. Can anyone comment on how synastry aspects such as Lilith(male) Square Venus(female); Lilith (male) Trine Neptune (female) an Jupiter (male) conjunct Lilith (female) will play out? Thanks in advance!