Tuesday, May 1, 2012

LILITH SYNASTRY



Lilith has quite the reputation of being none other than a spiteful, demanding, hyper sexual, vindictive demoness that drives men insane, and kills babies and that's just the start- or the short version, for those of you who are already familiar with her story. If you do not then click here (for one of the many interpretations). 

When reading about Lilith it's nearly impossible to find the positive, yet modern day astrologers focus on her independent nature in a attempt to turn her story more positive, which is a good thing. We don't need anymore negative or bad planets or the like, messing our lives up anymore.  So wit that said, applying her to modern day in Astrology we must take all things into consideration objectively. To be objective we need to consider the sources in which her stories come, and of course one's beliefs I guess. 

Although her story varies there is a "common theme", most agree collaborate with, and it's not very good at all. So, twisting to the positive we must keep in mind that these texts are "very old"  and in that time, people were tough critics and times change, whereas today we would say, having multiple sex partners and women wanting to dominate is pretty common and even mainstream and although considered edgy,  it's all too common and NOT considered wrong or evil, like it was with her. 


There is the possibility that things may have been exaggerated it WAS a much more rigid time. People are much more accepting and open minded today. To think "Witches", or Astrologers, and anyone that "Did things differently" or " Did not adhere to mainstream beliefs" suffered major consequences and were pinned as being wicked or  evil and even killed.

Times were tough, and people pretty brutal in their opinions, and judgments were hard. Back then if you had an affair, you could be set fire, be stoned or cast out, never to step foot back again, banned to wear the " Scarlet Letter". Yes, we want to live happy and fruitful lives, and to do what is healthy for us. But given that we are learning to be loving and to respect all people regardless of their chosen lifestyle, perhaps Lilith wasn't so evil, perhaps the "demons" she ran off to have sex with were really just people of another tribe, that looked different than everyone else, mistaken for demons? staying with the positive.


No one knows for certain, but we do know the truth does get stretched from time to time or twisted. If you were a woman that did not want to submit, back in that time, you would have been banished too. So she is now the model for women's equal rights. 

Lilith, represents the part of us that want's to be free to live our wild sexual lives as we wish, to break free of any inhibitions and to be authentic to ourselves, and to do what we please, even in the extreme. 

Perhaps, the only problem with Lilith was that she was born, created in the wrong era, and because of this she was the rebel, and simply made out to be much worse than she actually was.


One thing we can decipher for certain is that Lilith was not the goody girl next door. As far as where the myth originated according to Ariela Pelaia  in her article; Where does the legend of Lilith come from she states 
Many believe she was inspired by Sumerian myths about female vampires called “Lillu” or Mesopotamian myths about succubae (female night demons) called “lilin.” 

Also, that Lilith was mentioned four times in the Babylonian Talmud, but it was not until the Alphabet of Ben Sira (c. 800s to 900s) that the character of Lilith is associated with the first version of Creation. In this medieval text, Ben Sira names Lilith as Adam’s first wife and presents a full account of her story." 

If you haven't read up on her here's an interesting read portraying her as the serpent in the bible The case for Lilith. as you will see, there are quite a few different myths.

No one is really all that certain as to which Myth is the most accurate so we can only work with it seems most probably in the least that we can bet to see our rebellious or wild side, in the area of our chart Lilith resides. To what degree is to be determined by the sign, house and aspects to her from personal planets.

I have had much personal and professional experience with Lilith, as I mentioned. 

To put her in perspective Lilith is similar to a combination of Pluto and Uranus energy. A combination of the darker qualities of Pluto, Demanding, Unruly, Strong Sexual needs and desires, unique different or bizarre interest in sex, nymphomaniac, strong independent streak, a heart breaker.

These do ring true from what I have seen in synastry between two people, with Lilith aspects. One or both have Lilith in aspect to the others, Sun, Moon, Venus or Mars.

Lilith in synastry usually produces a very powerful seductive lure between the two but also an erratic quality to it. More likely than not you will experience a battle of wills or power struggles.

Although, this adds to the passion it is also pulling at the very seat of your souls. This highly sexual charged relationship is likely to open your eyes to issue of control you might have, but also to test your very beliefs on relationships and sex. 

It is also possible in it's more aggressive energy or form to draw out your own sexual or emotional demons. Much like Pluto, Lilith has the sexual power to draw out our compulsions which if not kept in check can drive us insane, or a visit to the therapist or simply send us over the edge. Lilith was known to drive men insane. 

Strong Lilith relationships( Hard Aspects with Lilith) often turn obsessive in a rather rapid, yet desirous way. Things can move fast, all things and you feel as if you just can't turn away. Very much like the lure to eat of the "luscious forbidden fruit" curiosity kills. Lilith is often a temptation, that if taken on will ultimately open our eyes to your darker nature. 

I early on took an interest in Lilith since I do have her prominent in my own chart and have known many woman and men to have her strongly activated in their charts. Perhaps my Pluto in the 11th draws intense types as friends and having Lilith trine my Sun, I attracted many Lilith types.

 A few years ago decided to watch her closely and to study her effects in the people and couples I knew to have strong Lilith Aspects,  I only included aspects to personal planets (ie. Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars) to see what her role in a relationship might be. 

Personal examples, Two of my best friends that I grew up with had Lilith heavy aspects both had her in they're first house conjunct their Ascendant. They were always pegged as a being the wild ones, die hard individualist, rebel rousers, open sexually to some considered  "promiscuous" both were highly sexual. To them they were just doing what they wanted.

Both did grow up having had many sexual partners,  but very few were "relationships" the ones they did have always ended dramatically and most often because of cheating or them finding a new interest.

They were always talking sex it was a favorite past time the one had Lilith conjunct Ascendent and Sun, Square Venus she was the most candid. Admitting to sleeping with two men in the same night, or back to back often. She admitted to being sex-crazed, was part of many orgies, and didn't flinch an eye when others rolled theirs

To them, sex was seen as a sport, or something, they were always having and I could never keep up with who the latest was.

However, the drama in their life was a little too much for me and nothing i envied. They both had highly dramatic and sexually charged love lives with all sorts of man drama, and the bad kind. They had guys losing their minds, calling frantically, it seemed they went after very controlling guys, who stalked them. These guys were reacting in volatile ways, one parked behind my girlfriends car blocking her in, insisting she spoke to him again, not allowing the break up. I almost felt bad for the guys. 

I started to get concerned for my own well-being because these guys were truly obsessed, and near the point of insanity. Hmmm, eerie anyone?  Lilith mythology does say something about leaving men insane, no joke check it out. Lilith the heart breaker, leaving men nuts in her wake.

My friends were bringing out these guys deepest compulsions through strong sexual connections with women who were "not to be tamed" and were not the kind to be tied down, not in there mid-20s anyway. They both are very beautiful and project strong sexual energy, that attracts men like flies, yet their relationships are full of drama, and always ended horribly.

2 women hardly makes a case, but I do find it interesting. 

I have, however, observed Lilith in more than these two, those were very up and close personal relationships I saw first hand. These traits  may help us understand her at full strength.  Liliths effects from what I have seen vary from person to person and also by aspect to which planet, involved.  And as always, the whole chart always needs to be taken into consideration other aspects can block or enhance the energy. 

In many of my clients relationships, I have seen it play out obsessively, intensely and always sexually charged, however in most of the cases, they never made it for the long haul a couple of years tops.  


Perhaps because Lilith can never really be had, or satisfied. It's important to note that these were people in their mid 20's maturity makes a lot of difference in many cases. As with all difficult aspects they tend to get better or more controlled over time, they are managed much better with age. So we always need to take that into consideration as well.

These scandalous qualities or desire for many sex partners can be seen in Men as well. I have observed her in many of the charts of men. For men Lilith can play out that they are attracted to Lilith types, women with large sexual appetites or darker more taboo sex, perhaps filth is a turn on. 

Again it varies from person to person and other aspects need to be considered. This is usually for Lilith very prominent. If this is not the case and Lilith is not activated by personal planets, they still seem to be wild horses, not the relationship type, with powerful sexual appetites. They too can be heart breakers. Lilith goes both ways, for both sexes.

In the Lilith myth, she was also known for infiltrating men's dreams and ultimately driving them insane. In other words, she draws out our jealousies, and compulsive natures, opening our eyes much like Pluto does through taking away, and drawing out our deepest feelings. Lilith does it through her independent, unruly( Uranus) and Pluto's Lair, strong sexual compulsions of a taboo nature or sex served raw and dirty.

When it comes to synastry Lilith in aspect to a partners personal planet such as the Sun. The Lilith person will pull out these sexual compulsions from the Sun person and the Sun person is likely to become obsessed with capturing the Lilith person. 


One or the other stirs a unsettling feeling in the other drawing out passions,no rules and lust is found in the depths of the dirty, unusual, or forbidden nature which draws out new elevations in your sexual bond always wanting to push the limits of sexual pleasure through a multitude of expressions.

On her more taboo or perhaps scandalous side, I knew another girl, who has Lilith Square her Mars, she was always attracting guys who had unusual sexual desires,  and fetishes they were ultra sexual and into strange sex, such as groups, bondage, humiliation and sex in dirty places.  She always claimed to find this out later in the relationship with no signs prior. (I am not sure I believe her on this because she was always attracted to unusual people that clearly emanated danger so it comes with the territory). 

Eventually all this focus on pushing the limits on sex, she also finally cracked and was disgusted with herself. She was full of anger and ready to give up, on men period. She said," I will never find love", all men are pigs. I was shocked because her Lilith opposite Mars, was always pushing the limits with Sex, telling me all her crazy wild sexual experiences, the whackier the better.

But because it happened to be 3 different men in a row with the same desires, I decided to take a look at her chart in greater detail, all 3 of these men wanted her to sleep with other men or partake in groups sex and other taboo sex arenas. I wasn't shocked to see there were some tough aspects with Pluto, in the charts of the male, but to see "Lilith was in all 3 of their first houses" (for two of them she was making aspects to their personal planets but for the other one, there were no other aspects.) was a interesting find. 

 For her, Lilith was in her 7th house and opposite her Mars in the 1st, it seemed since the 7th house is who we attract, she was attracting Lilith types, and their Lilith was Square her Mars "she said; they always tried to coerce her or tried to convince her into exploring the many unusual sexual orientations they had. They all were open to her having Sex other men in addition to them. The spoke of sex as just that sex and something they should explore.

This is not enough to say that all men that have Lilith in the first house like sexually promiscuous women, or are highly sex crazed and into sex with many partners but it seems a connection in this case. Keeping in mind, These were "hard aspects" ( Conjunction, Square or Opposition) with Lilith and taking into account they were younger before the age of 30. There was an attraction to sex with multiple partners, in all three cases. and..."Multiple sexual Partners" and "Sex for the sake of Sex" IS a "Lilith theme" according to Myth.  

The men that are heavily Lilith may be attracted to prostitutes or women that are dirty we see much of the sexual scandal going on with men and their homier wives and their dirty girl on the side.



Since Lilith was responsible for bringing disease also, I am not associating sex with a disease but if you are not careful, it's a consequence. So she is associated with dirty, sex in dirty places, with multiple partners and even mysophilia. 



For the record there ARE "other not so nice", asteroids and stars, even outside of Pluto and Lilith that have darker twists such as Nessus, which is related to "abuse" we all have it in our charts, but most of us don't act on it, or even notice its energy the same can always apply to Pluto and Lilith as well, it all depends on how evolved the individuals are. 



However, there are some that have the potential of expressing Nessus negative side, the same goes for Lilith. All things must always be considered.



To find out which side of Lilith you are dealing with, you may want to take age into consideration first to see if both people are mature and aware of the energy, so they can be conscious of it. 


 Lilith is not for the faint of heart, she is much like the lifting of a veil opening our eyes to the ravenous side of our natures, taking the "sexual context" out, she would be rebellious side, our urge for sexual exploration and freedom, our independence at no matter the cost.



For more on the impact of Lilith in synastry and my interpretations of Lilith aspects in synastry, you can read more in the members area if you are a member. If you are not a member you can see how to become one by clicking the following link: Become a member


9 comments :

  1. What about man's lilith conj woman's nn and woman's lilith conj man's mars?

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  2. Depending on how close the conjunction with the Ascendant but sounds like the relationship would be a lesson on Lilith, which isn't exactly about relationships. So the both of you will need to be very aware of how you may unconsciously respond , react to or affect the other. Especially if you want to establish a long lasting relationship . Other supportive factors can help and things like maturity and awareness as well;)

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  3. Hello! My partner's lilith squares my sun, also his lilith conjuncts my mars,Quincunx my pluto, and my lilith squares his mercury in synastry. In composite we've got sun square lilith. How would you interpret it? Thanks :)

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    1. Hmmm.. Your partner may be a bit rebellious although there is likely a very strong intense attraction that would need to be managed carefully. He can help you unleash the lion in you and bring out your wild side:)

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  4. Hi, here are the synastry Lilith aspects with my partner:
    Lilith Conjunction Moon Orb 0°55'
    Lilith Square AS Orb 0°02'
    Lilith Square Jupiter Orb 1°04'
    Lilith Square Sun Orb 4°35'
    Lilith Trine Mercury Orb 2°27'
    Lilith Sextile Venus Orb 3°22'

    good or bad?
    Thanks!

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    1. Hi, Well Lilith is hardly good;0 She's the unattainable, the licentious, raw animal passion in us but she's ever so challenging and disruptive with hard aspects conjunctions/squares although there is usually a very strong sexual attraction. However, over time willfulness and stubborness often interfere so compromise and care are needed to maintain a long term relationship with those aspects.

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  5. Thanks for the reply...
    Yes, its a crazy strong sexual attraction, 2 years into it and it hasn't slowed down... and plenty of willfulness and stubbornness recently... and we have a sun square mars double whammy...

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    1. Oh my, only adding to the fire. Compromise at this stage:)

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  6. My lilith is opposite my potential partners lilith and his moon. Which also means his moon is conjunct his lilith. What does this mean for him individually and for us potentially? Thanks!

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