This aspect can be very difficult to deal with because there are tremendous fears and insecurity as a result of lack of support in order to build the proper self-confidence. The person tends to have very high and even unrealistic expectations of self, as they strive for perfection in all that they do.
They crave to be successful and recognized as someone who has it together, but at the same time they are insecure and fear the success they might have. In their attempt to be appreciated they can end up being standoffish, closed minded, and overly sensitive to criticism. This aspect as with most Saturn aspects cause a somber personality where there is much self-monitoring to where they can even appear stiff or rigid.
This stems from early childhood usually as a result of lack of encouragement and even suppression or in worse cases abuse that left the child feeling unwanted and unworthy or any attempt they tried to make to get approval was put down or seen as foolish, or childish. They were often forced to grow up fast and to present themselves in a self-contained, and mature manner early on.
They may have grown up in an overly strict environment and usually the father was rather cold or demanding and may even have picked on the child for no apparent reason.
This aspect requires the individual to reprogram belief system by realizing that they are talented and that they have gifts that are worthy and appreciated and that because they were not supported does not mean that it is not true. It's important for them to know that the only reason why people put others down is because of their own insecurity, and this is especially true for anyone that puts down a child and, therefore, their criticism is not valid.
It is also equally important for them to not project the exact same behavior in which stunted their self-confidence onto others, and more importantly to not develop a overly sensitive personality to criticism cutting themselves out of relationships with others.
Realizing that the early environment is not a reflection of how others see them, and to learn to let go of the need to be perfect or to censor themselves out of fear of ridicule.
Everyone deserves to be themselves and while some people may not approve others will, you cannot make everyone happy, ever so learn to be ok with it.
Learning to love and appreciate yourself as is and to not fear what others think is the keys to your happiness.
As you learn to let go and allow yourself to make mistakes because everyone does, and not give yourself a hard time about it then you will find that others actually respect you more for being who you are, stop caring what others think.
We cannot let our early upbringing dictate the future of our lives, we need to take control of our destiny even if we need to be our own cheerleaders. Caring less about others opinions and being true to oneself is admirable and liberating! Let go of fears of not being good enough, you are good enough and stop trying to be perfect, relax and let yourself be free from expectations of others.
Lastly, living a fake personality is a waste of your life and the only one to suffer will be you. Everyone has their difficulties to overcome, and people that are mean, unsupported, repressive, or judgmental are the most insecure people around. How can you let someone who is negative affect who you are?
Be yourself, and encourage others too, stop judging them as you were judged, be pro-life lift others up, and except them as they are. You will see that you will receive the same treatment in exchange. Your karma is to learn to give positive encouragement despite your lack of it. We get what we give, the more you judge yourself or others, the more others will judge you.
Understand that the evil thing about perfectionism is that it makes us self-conscious about who we are and how we feel, and we end up losing our freedom of expression. We lose sight of who we are and become numb to the pain of being trapped in a fake personality that constricts us all the time.
Don't restrict yourself, liberate yourself and help liberate others. You will feel alive the second you do, and your life from here on will be one in which you create.
These are very insightful and helpful comments. Thoroughly impressed.
ReplyDeleteThank you:)
Delete